Fuck you series: Henry Ford

Henry Ford can eay my ass and burn in hell.

Henry Ford with his good buddy burning in Hell

Although Henry Ford did accomplish a large number of impressive things during his lifetime, he also had his fair share of blunders.  This Fuck You post reminds the public of four of Henry Fords most shit-for-brains moves:

I know, how about I don’t change my product for 19 years.:

For one, he liked the model T so much, that he continued to build it way after it was obsolote, which caused Ford to forever fall behind GM in market share in the 1930s.  He way also violently opposed to any modifications to the car to allow it to compete with other automakers of the time.  From Wiley.com:

…Henry Ford refused even to consider replacing his beloved Model T. Once, while he was away on vacation, employees built an updated Model T and surprised him with it on his return. Ford responded by kicking in the windshield and stomping on the roof.

I love my workers, no I don’t.:

Although he is credited for treating his workers well, this was only the case in the early years of the company.  He did pay his workers well (about double they could expect for a similar job elsewhere).  He also had a force of 50 private investigators to spy on his own workers, making sure they didn’t drink, gamble, or do anything else he didn’t like (like redesigning the Model T).  Later on, his generosity waned.  I’ve seen recordings of former employees describe working on the Model T as working in hell, even decades after.  When workers tried to unionize, Ford reacted with violence, leading to the the infamous Battle of the Overpass:

Hitler?  Yeah I’m totally gay for him!:

Hitler and Henry Ford got along great.  I’ve heard stories about them pounding each other in the ass.  I don’t know who was the top most of the time though.  From Wikipedia:

Ford and Adolf Hitler admired each other’s achievements. Adolf Hitler kept a life-size portrait of Ford next to his desk. “I regard Henry Ford as my inspiration,” Hitler told a Detroit News reporter two years before becoming the Chancellor of Germany in 1933. In July 1938, four months after the German annexation of Austria, Ford was awarded the Grand Cross of the German Eagle, the highest medal awarded by Nazi Germany to foreigners.

How about I print a newspaper that contains only libelous anti-Semitic material?:

So, Ford published a paper called the Dearborn Independent, which was almost entirely devoted to printing libelous anti-semitic material about prominent Jews, as well as generally promoting the ideas contained in The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.  Eventually, Ford messed around with the wrong guy, a Mr. Araron Sapiro, esquire of California.  Now Ford was seriously afraid of making public speeches, and if you’ve ever seen a video of him speaking publicly, he looks like he’s costantly on the verge of a panic attack.  This is probably not a good problem to have if you are constantly printing libelous material about a lawyer.  Eventually he is going to take you to court and make you look like a fool.  From AJHS:

For seven years, the Independent continued to publish anti-Semitic articles until the target of one series, California farm cooperative organizer Aaron Sapiro, sued Ford for libel. Sapiro was the third Jew to sue Ford and the first to get to trial. Ford refused to testify and apparently staged an automobile accident so he could hide in a hospital.

This stupid motherfucker intentionally got into an accident and put himself in the hospital because he was so afraid of going to court and being publicly humiliated for his own stupidity.  You stupid fuck.

Anyway, as part of settling with Sapiro, he promised to never print content about Jews ever again, and ended up shutting down the paper in 1927.

So for all of these, and many other dumbshit mistakes that a chimpanzee that grew up on a diet of paint chips wouldn’t make, I send a hearty posthomous fuck you to you, Henry Ford.


One Response

  1. if it wasn’t for the expletives and gay jokes, I’d think this was written by a professional journalist.

    It’s like Woodward and Bernstein gave birth to Ted Koppel, and then he knocked-up Lara Logan, who in turn gave birth to Ann Coulter, who then queefed out a mung-spewing dragon that was heroically slain by your mighty sword of journalistic integrity.

    i love you.

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