Enter the Submachine…

…but first enter Jay Is Games for longer reviews, comments and walkthroughs

…Then, Enter the Submachine! (created by Mateusz Skutnik)

The First Submachine, Remixed

A classic “point n’ click”/”escape the room” posture. Point n’ click to Escape the rooms. Got it? Ok, just warming up.

sub1 Continue reading

Linux has better Windows compatibility than Vista

Don’t Screw With My Games:

I have been using Vista for well over a year now (since Beta 1). Of course Vista is slow, its bloated (over 10x the size of XP), aero kills system performance (even though this should be done on the video card), networking is pathetically slow, etc etc. We all know Vista sucks.

But recently my blood has been set to a rolling boil by the fact that most of my games just don’t work in Vista. At all. Its so bad that out of spite I have decided to make a list of games that work better in Linux under Wine than in Vista. These are games that were originally written to run in Windows XP, are broken in Vista, but magically work in Linux.

You are probably wondering what Wine is, so from the authors:

…an Open Source implementation of the Windows API on top of X, OpenGL, and Unix.

Think of Wine as a compatibility layer for running Windows programs. Wine does not require Microsoft Windows, as it is a completely free alternative implementation of the Windows API consisting of 100% non-Microsoft code, however Wine can optionally use native Windows DLLs if they are available. Wine provides both a development toolkit for porting Windows source code to Unix as well as a program loader, allowing many unmodified Windows programs to run on x86-based Unixes, including Linux, FreeBSD, Mac OS X, and Solaris.

Which means basically Wine is a program that lets you run Windows programs outside of Windows (on a Mac or Linux, for example). There is also a version of Wine called WineX / Cedega, which is written for playing games. Specifically, WineX supports DirectX. Unlike Wine, Cedega actually costs money, but its still cheap when you compare the cost of it to an actual Vista install. How could a handful of programmers working in their spare time beat thousands of full-time Microsoft employees at their own game (hey Vista only took 5+ years)? A couple of things: 1. the Wine guys are good at what they do. 2. Vista is a full scale train wreck.

All tests were run on the same dual-boot machine. My version of Vista is completely patched, and so are my video card drivers, in case you were wondering. For Linux, I am running Mepis 7.0. The hardware in my machine is: AMD Athlon 64 3200+, 1.5 GB RAM, NVidia GeForce 5 FX Series.

Enough introductions, onto the results.

Test #1 Soldat:

Soldat is a free indy game that has been described as Worms + Counter Strike, its supposed to be fun. I wouldn’t know. I tried to play it and it didn’t work.

Its a game that is still being actively developed, the version I used was from Aug 2007, well after Vista’s release. Even still, I couldn’t get it work on Vista, regardless of the configuration.

On Vista:

I get a grey screen with some red boxes, and some green boxes. Then the screen goes black and the entire machine freezes. I need to reboot. There is absolutely no reason for anything but drivers written by a retarded monkey to take down any operating system. The fact that a very simple game can take Vista down completely is pretty pathetic.

On Wine in Linux (not Cedega):

The default configuration does not work, but unlike in Vista, when Soldat crashes, it doesn’t bring the entire operating system down with it – the process just terminates. To get it to work, I have to turn all the settings way down, but it works… slowly.

Test #2 Darwinia:

So we’ve found one game still under active development. That didn’t work. Whats next? How about one published while Vista was being developed? If compatibility problems came up during Vista development, they should be able to catch and fix the problem. I had exactly the game that fit the bill – I recently bought a title named Darwinia from Circuit City for a whopping $1.40. This game was completed in 2005, but is still patched occasionally.
On Vista:

Similar to Soldat, this game froze Vista cold. The screen goes completely black and its time for a reboot. Patching the game to the most recent version fixed the problem, but the performance is so bad (10 fps) that even when it works its unplayable.

On Wine in Linux (not Cedega):

Again, its shocking to see better application compatibility on Wine than in an actual version of Windows. Although Darwinia fails to run in Vista unpatched, it runs fine under Wine (even at a tolerable speed)

Test #3 Blackthorne in DOSBox:

Blackthorne is one of Blizzard’s first game titles, and its a real classic. In order to play most games from the DOS era (pre Windows 95), its necessary run them on a program called DOSBox, which is a program that fakes being an old computer, which allows old games to run. To read more about either check out my Best Abandonware Games post.

On DOSBox in Vista:

Blackthorne doesn’t run by itself, but this isn’t bad or surprising. DOSBox not working is the problem. In DOSbox, the Blackthorne hangs after outputting a message about the music composer of the game. I try turning off all sound in the game configuration. Still no dice. The DOSBox window hangs, I need to go to Task Manager (ctrl+alt+delete) to kill the window. Hey, this is an improvement. At least I didn’t have to shut off the machine.

On DosBOX in Linux:

Doesn’t run under Wine, also not surprising. In DOSBox there is the same message about the music, but then Blackthorne fails in the way it was supposed to. It prints an error message about the sound card, exits, and puts me back at the prompt. I don’t have to go to Task Manager to kill anything. I don’t have to reboot. Changing SoundBlaster Pro to SoundBlaster solves the issue – the game works with sound.

Test #4 Civilization 4:

Listen, I’ve been playing thee Civilization series for something like 17 years. I love all of them. When I get Vista installed on my computer I’m just praying to myself that everything works ok. PLEASE don’t take this away from me. I might loose it.

On Vista:

Put the CD in and install it. So far so good. When I run it, I get this delightful message:

Civilization 4 Doesn’t Work in Vista

Motherf#&!!! This is more than I can handle. If you [Microsoft] know something is wrong, fix it. Don’t pass the blame onto the game author. You are the one who broke it.

To add insult to injury, actually running the game does what? I’ll give you a guess. If you need a hint, look at what happened with the first two games. Thats right, it hung my computer.

When you mess with Civilization, its personal. I can handle some indy games that are only played by a few thousand people not working, but this is a HUGE title, one of the best sellers in 2005. How can you knowingly break this and claim that with Vista you get “Simply Great Gaming“? I’d have a better time playing with a steaming pool of diarrhea.

Update: With the 1.61 patch, Civ4 no longer freezes, but it like in WineX, it does not recognize the cd labeled “Play / Disc 2” when in the drive. An improvement, but still not good enough.

On Wine in Linux (not Cedega):

DirectX fails to install. This isn’t cool, but at least it doesn’t hang my machine.

On WineX / Cedega in Linux:

Install works fine. I fire it up, but the game can’t locate the CD so it won’t run. This isn’t cool, but at least it doesn’t require a reboot. Still, a better result than in Vista. This failure was experienced by someone else as well.


This post is clearly a bit biased. What shocked me though was how easy it was to find games that didn’t run under Vista but did in Linux by using Wine or DOSBox. I’m not a huge gamer, so I don’t have a huge collection of games to try out, but even still with just a few hours of frustrating work, I have been able to show that not only is Linux a reasonable alternative to Vista for gaming (XP is still king though), but also that Linux handles application failures more gracefully than Vista. Every game but Blackthorne crashed my Vista box, this didn’t happen a single time under Linux.

Make your own call.

Update: If you want a more trustworthy review of games in Vista (Beta 2, not RTM), check out Extremetech’s article, or Gamespot (which confirms the Vista / Civ 4 failure). This review is just for my configurations on one machine, and I intentionally didn’t try hard to get broken things to work. You’ll get results more like theirs if you have the patience to track through forums and publisher websites for workarounds.

Update: I recently tested the performance of Vista compared to Windows Server 2008. Windows Server comes out ahead by 33% in ram usage, and 10% in processing speed of benchmarks.

Update: Vista compatibility is bad, but SP1 compatibility is worse.

Update: Things I actually liked about Windows Vista.

Firehose vs. Car

Thanks, Technowerks

The Awesome Power of Rock

RISE so you may Kneel to worship the unparalleled might of FOCUS: Hocus Pocus

Harem Scarem

Muse – Knights of Cydonia

Dragonforce – Through The Fire and Flames (live)

one for the road


The FAIL blog.

I’ve Been Buffalaxed!

Thanks to Buffalax for his supreme linguistic skills…

…and thanks to Steph for bringing this to my attention!

Drunk History: Volumes 1, 2

  • Volume 1: The Alexander Hamilton / Arron Burr Duel
    • With the nerdy kid from Superbad
    • “Hey, you’re giving me shit. We gotta duel… Can you see my belly?”

  • Volume 2: Benjamin Franklin, Electricity, and Prostitution
    • With Jack Black
    • “William Franklin was a dick… I need to throw up”