13 Year Old Steals Dad’s Credit Card to Buy Hookers

I love this kinky bitch

So far I’m still flaccid

There’s something hot about that bee suit

OK, the S&M stuff is really working for me…

…I gotta go “water the plants” now.

*

more Green Porno

Really?

More Jewish Rappers

My dick cost a late night fee,
Your dick got the HIV.
My dick plays on the double feature screen,
Your dick went straight to DVD.

My dick bigger than a bridge,
Your dick look like a little kids.
My dick large like the chargers (the whole team),
Your shit look like you’re fourteen.

My dick locked in a cage (right),
Your dick suffer from stage fright.
My dick so hot its stolen,
Your dick look like Gary Coleman.

My dick pain and big,
Your dick stinks like shit.
My dick got a
Your dick needs a tweezer dude.

My dick is like supersize,
Your dick look like two fries.
My dick more mass than the Earth,
Your dick half staff (it needs work).

My dick been there done that,
Your dick said so
My dick, V.I.P.,
Your shit needs I.D.

[Repeat: 2x]
It’s time that we let the world know,
Dude, you gotta let your girl go.
D.S. is the best in the business,
P.s. we got dicks like jesus.

My dick need no introduction,
Your dick don’t even function.

My dick served a whole lunch-in,
Your dick, it look like a munchkin.

My dick size of a pumpkin,
Your dick look like Mackauley Culkin.
My dick good good lovin’,
Your dick good for nothin’.

My dick bench pressed 350,
Your dick couldnt shotlift at thrifty.
My dick pretty damn skimpy,
Your dick hungry as a hippy.

My dick don’t fit down the chimney,
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippine.

My dick is like an M16,
Your dick, broken vending machine.

My dick parts the seas,
Your dick

My dick rumble in the jungle,
Your dick got touched by your uncle.

My dick goes to yoga,
Your dick fruit roll up.

My dick grade a beef,
Your dick made a geek.

My dick sick and dangerous,
Your dick quick and painless.

My dick ’nuff said.,
Your dick

[Repeat: 2x]
It’s time that we let the world know,
Dude, you gotta let your girl go.
D.S. is the best in the business,
P.s. we got dicks like jesus.

Lyrics from seeklyrics

Thanks to the JBC

5. Guwange

The fifth of the list is by the best maniac shooter developer around - Cave, who you will see again in this list. The mechanics of this game are really weird - you get normal shots, but you can also attack enemies with a very powerful ghost… thing. The ghost is invincible, and is useful for both laying the beatdown, and soaking up enemy fire if you can get the ghost placed between you and the enemy. While using the ghost, your character slows down a hell of alot, so its important to use the ghost not only to kill enemies but to keep you safe. That makes the most interesting part of the game - you are basically controlling two characters at the same time and have to keep your eye on both. The other unusual thing about this title is that your character is on foot, so you can’t just fly around anywhere like you can in most shooters. Definitely takes some getting used to, but worth it just for novelty.

4. Do Don Pachi

Another Brilliant shooter from Cave, like most of their other shooters, this is in the maniac shooter genre. Gameplay mechanics in the game are pretty simple - you can tap the fire button to retain mobility while firing, or hold the button down to bring some serious pain, at the cost of mobility. This means you’ll have to balance the two out and decide which one is right that second. There of course are bombs too, which clear out the screen and are best saved to bail yourself out when in serious trouble.

As is somewhat standard, there are three ships to choose from, but if you are serious about the game you’ll just pick the one that shoots out directly ahead of you.

3. Galaga

Well this is the one that started it all. How do you get good at this game? You just teach your muscles how to tap the fire button freakishly fast. Memorizing the patterns the enemies comes out at each level also doesn’t hurt. Also this game has an cool mechanic that allows your ship to be stolen by an enemy, but if you shoot him down with your next life, you get to have two ships side by side - I think as long as you have the lives to pull it off, its worthwhile, especially earlier in the game where it easy to dodge enemies - it also makes it much easier to score perfect bonus rounds.

While alot of the early shooters have not aged well, this is one that has. Even though there really aren’t that many game play mechanics to take advantage of (you cant even move up or down) there is something really satisfying about this game. It was developed by Namco in ‘81, the same year as Pac-Man. I think they both are perfect examples of how simple graphics and gameplay, when done right are timeless. Even though this game is getting on 26 years, if you are in a bar and see an arcade machine, probability is its a Pac-Man / Galaga cabinet.

2. 19xx

Developed by Capcom, 19XX is the 4th shooter in the longstanding 1945 shooter series. Developed in ‘95, this game fortunately has improved considerably over earlier titles in the series (they were good for their time, but seriously dated now). This game allows for normal shots, charged shots that can lock on and fire missiles, as well as a classic bomb attack which nukes the screen and also clears off all the shots on the screen, so its perfect to save until you get into a really tight spot.

There are three different planes to use, and three different possible weapons to choose from. All are playable, but to me some seem much more powerful than others. I prefer the Lightning with missiles.

1. Esp ra de

You get it from the bathroom, then you put it in your mouth.

No.

Sorry, I just thought of this and had to… If you aren’t a Dune nerd this will make no sense.

Bonus? $250,000 Office Space question on Millionaire:

Turns out this is a viral made by Levi’s to promote their button fly jeans.  I had seen the clip before, but Wired gives all the background on the video.

Archambault insists no special trickery was used during shooting. Each performer wore silk boxers and used heavily starched jeans to help complete the trick.

The article also mentions the subservient chicken website, which by coincidence was posted here a couple of days ago.

You’re in (HAHAHA, oh) control:

Get past the first minute of technical boringness for less than a minute of video which is only slightly less boring.