Proof that at some point in its evolutionary past

Pizza did grow on trees

Back in the day, even cheating was hard.

Mike plays his like an upright bass

A tiny water boatman is the loudest animal on Earth relative to its body size, a study has revealed.

Scientists from France and Scotland recorded the aquatic animal “singing” at up to 99.2 decibels, the equivalent of listening to a loud orchestra play while sitting in the front row.

The insect makes the sound by rubbing its penis against its abdomen in a process known as “stridulation”.

El Beeb.

The lederhosen effect

I just want the paper
The Visa capisha
I’m out like the vapors
Who’s the one the call mister macho
The head honcho
Swift fist like camacho

 

Death is coming

The Tyger

TIGER, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And water’d heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

- William Blake

The discovery of rollerblade clogs finally killed off string theory

While most people currently believe in the heliocentric model of the universe, it is nice to see that not only scientists, but an entire scientific field can take rub on some youth serum and turn back the clock a few centuries.  For those who are interested in the geocentric model, you may want to check out the Galileo Was Wrong conference, in Indiana.

Me?  I know that the universe actually revolves around Mike’s balls, which are made out of a particularly rare depleted radioactive material.  Just a tablespoon of it weighs… alot.  This is what the universe actually looks like, to scale:

(Mike: I expect this will be placed in your rotating wallpaper list)

Dude I had the best shit ever today

diarrheaBot: i was thinking about putting it on the blog
diarrheaBot: let me tell you about it and then you can tell me what you think
TheLordThyGod : ok go
diarrheaBot: ok so im very careful to eat lots of prunes
diarrheaBot: i eat like 4 or 5 a day
diarrheaBot: so i can stay regular and loose
diarrheaBot: got it?
TheLordThyGod : uh…yeah
diarrheaBot: ok
diarrheaBot: anyway

diarrheaBot: today it didnt work so much

The Chimney Sweeper

A little black thing among the snow,
Crying “‘weep! ‘weep!” in notes of woe!
“Where are thy father and mother, say?”
“They are both gone up to the church to pray.

“Because I was happy upon the heath,
And smiled among the winter’s snow,
They clothed me in the clothes of death,
And taught me to sing the notes of woe.

“And because I am happy and dance and sing,
They think they have done me no injury,
And are gone to praise God and his Priest and King,
Who make up a heaven of our misery.”

- William Blake

…all the way…

Watch the whole thing.

Great Peyote.  Great.

It totally looks safe to eat

You can get your fill of wrong for the entire day right here.

And no of course it doesn’t have two of every muscle.  Are you fucking retarded?

“He is a sperm machine.  Absolutely.”

Hey, cows gotta get their freak on too.

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCC

I guess big numbers are better

Another reason why you don’t want crabs

I love eating your balls

Head lice vs crabs, and how it helps us figure out when we split from apes.

Lice are intimately adapted to their hosts and cannot long survive away from the body’s blood and warmth. If their host evolves into two species, the lice will do likewise. So biologists have long been scratching their heads over the fact that the human head louse is a sister species to the chimpanzee louse, but the pubic louse is closely related to the gorilla louse.

Over at NyTimes.

I want to go to there