24 Hours of Lemons overanalyzed

A thorough breakdown of the results of the 24 Hours of Lemons race is available here.

Facebook accounts hacked, pushing trojans.

Facebook accounts getting hijacked... again

Facebook accounts getting hijacked... again

So, about 3 months ago I wrote about a Facebook hack where someone was hijacking accounts in order to sell fake weed.  Looks like we have another big Facebook hack going on right now.  Hackers will access your account and post the following message on your friends’ walls, pretending to be yourself:

hey Ari, lol i cant believe is that you? :D

have a luk urself…

(click open or run when prompted)
This one looks to be alot nastier than the last attack because it seems to try to install a trojan (virus) on your computer, as opposed to just selling some fake herb.
Let me point out what should be obvious: Do not follow this link, and do not click open/run when prompted to.  If you get this message from a friend, you should probably let them know their information/account has been compromised.

Google is now evil

Although one part of Google’s code of conduct is “don’t be evil,” it is clear that over time this transitioned from a mindset of corporate behavior to an outdated catchphrase, perhaps the same way that Johnny Depp refers to the pirate code as “…more of a guideline, really” which has no real meaning, just something to fool people outside of the loop.

The website Google Watch has been tracking Google’s behavior for a long time now, so if you are inclined to find out some the badness Google has been up to, that’s the place to look.

The final straw for me, though was reported on today’s Drudge Report, and linked to an article on The Smoking Gun, where basically Google says we’re allowed to trespass and photograph on private property, because “Complete Privacy Does Not Exist.”  If they can fly a satellite over your house and take pictures that way, clearly they they are also allowed to drive up your driveway, to your house, take pictures that they photographed illegally and without permission, and post them for the entire world to see (unless you live in China).

So, as far as I see it, this is the beginning of a long gradual downfall (or at least flatness, in terms of stock price) for Google, the way Microsoft began ten years ago.  The more their primary cash cow ceases to amaze investors, the more they will continue to thrash in the industry, making more mistakes in the effort to push up stock prices a little bit higher.  Also expect them to use their size to bully around competitors the same way Microsoft has in the past.

Does this mean I will stop using Google today?  Probably not.  There are plenty of other technology companies I hate, but I still use their product out of necessity (or laziness).  Although Microsoft is another company I really don’t like much, I still use XP and love Office.  I hate facebook too, but I still have an account open just so my friends can keep in touch, but I’ve stopped posting information or pictures since they showed their colors in the beacon fiasco.  Although I’m basically bound to my Gmail account now, if the service started at this point I would probably opt out.  Although I will still use Google’s services for the time being, I am no longer at all enthusiastic about it.

Google, you used to be young, cool, and sexy.  Welcome to the real corporate world.  You’re all grown up!

New game: degrees of youtube porn

Game rules:

  1. Go to youtube
  2. Search for any term
  3. Click on first search result
  4. Follow “related videos” links repeatedly until you arrive to questionable content
  5. The degree is the number of links followed after the first search term

Example “Disney”, degree: 2 [uh, sick?]:

  1. Disney Channel Games 2008 – Day 1 – Chariot of Champions – Part 1
  2. Miley Cyrus-Bottom Of The Ocean(Official Good Morning America Performance)HQ*
  3. *NEW* another scandal of Miley cyrus shower pics to nick jonas

Example “Basketball”, degree 4:

  1. Olympic Basketball Team Prepares for Beijing
  2. 2008 Summer Olympics Team USA Basketball July Promo
  3. BECKY HAMMON: Playing for Russia in Olympics
  4. NY Liberty’s Favorite Songs

Example “Intel”, degree 2:

  1. Intel Vs AMD processor
  2. Banned Commercials – AMD Athlon vs Intel
  3. Banned Commercials – Kylie Minogue(lingerie)

Example “MIT”, degree 1: [this is getting even weirder]

  1. MIT Sketching
  2. Girl Tied Up [just wrong.]

So there you have it, give it a go yourself, and let us know how it went.

Youtube is a weird, sick place.

(Wget would make this really simple)



thanks to Ed for the recommendation

30 minutes of 80’s cartoon Openings

The 90’s

from pembrokewkorgi

Your fart’s carbon footprint

According to Elgood (2007), humans produce up to 1.5 liters of gas per day.  I’m assuming all gas volume figures in this post are at standard atmospheric pressure.

According to Britanica, up to 10% of your farts are methane (not mentioned if by weight or by volume, I’m assuming volume), which makes .15 liters of methane per day.

Which means at 717 gram/liter, you fart up to 110 grams of methane per day.

According to the Intergovenmental Panel on Climate change, methane is about 23 times as potent a greenhouse gas as compared to carbon dioxide.

That brings us to the carbon equivalent of almost 2.5 kilos of CO2 per day just from farting.

Now, being that the CO2 emissions of a Prius are 104 gram/kilometer, that means that just by sequestering your farts, you would reduce your greenhouse footprint enough to offset driving 20 kilometers in a Prius per day.

And now you know.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my martini, prepare to die.

Inigo Montoya, the bar.

Even though the sign is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen, I was dissapointed to not find: Mandy Patinkin, Rob Reiner, Cary Elwes, Cristopher Guest, or the ghost of Andre the Giant.  No fencing, poison, or six-fingered men inside either.

Instead, all I found was a mostly empty bar in a strip mall that smelled of old, stale smoke, and a rude bouncer and hostess who didn’t seem to realize that their bar was (name aside) a pile of shit.

Emulating Ocean Sound

I just saw Ween tonight at McCarren Park.  I left my face there because it got rocked off.

So as a tribute to their great rock performance, I’ve taken precious time from my day to copy and paste a url and post this video.

Ween – The Mollusk

Now you’re talking.

Father Guido Sarducci?

Apparently, this guy did the score for “Midnight Express“:

My God, its Jennifer Lopez!

Youtube words of sweet romance: Kylie Minogue

The things I would eat out of her ass!

I wanna cum into her [world]

OMG! four kylies!

Actually there are five. The fifth is sittin’ right here on my lap

She is de most beautiful woman in the world forever and ever and ever… My god! How is possible such beautiful woman? I love her.

even homosexuals would bang her! fuck she’s hot

her ass is OMG! she’s the hottest biatch

id give all my money (all one thousand daollars) to fuck the hell out of her

is that a thong she is wearing?

her armpits be secksy

when i was like 13 i was madly in love with her when i heard this song, so i wanted to like go stalker mode and kill her… i mean meet her…

The way she looks there makes my dick hard. Kylie is the ultimate cockteaser.

yea id like to have anal with her !

i am a straight woman but she turns me on like nothing on this earth ? does that make sense ? … ooohhhh KYLIE why am i not gay ??? YOU ARE THE HOTTEST WOMAN FOR SURE !!! [get help]

mmmmm, what a booty (o) (o)

sweet cock!!
i remember seeing this vid for the first time
her legs & ass in this are fucking hard to forget!!
this got me hard a couple of times, ill tell you that!!

This takes me back…
Used to wank on it plenty o’ times

my god ermmmmmmmmmmm………..wooooooo wot a butt lol

i want her ass!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course it was fun to shoot, Kylie Minogue has hotpants on, it doesn’t get better than that!

her mouth and lips sre looking damn delicius.

i’m masturbating

Her lips on my dick,
i’d die a happy man.

this video is making horny…

I’d do her TWICE!!! [no shit]

I could want her on my cock!!! [could?]

ok, i’m actually not gay anymore!

She’d go off in the sack

I’d f–k her dead!

She has the best butt

Ha ha. This has been an arousing experience. Ha ha.

Fuck you series: Henry Ford

Henry Ford can eay my ass and burn in hell.

Henry Ford with his good buddy burning in Hell

Although Henry Ford did accomplish a large number of impressive things during his lifetime, he also had his fair share of blunders.  This Fuck You post reminds the public of four of Henry Fords most shit-for-brains moves:

I know, how about I don’t change my product for 19 years.:

For one, he liked the model T so much, that he continued to build it way after it was obsolote, which caused Ford to forever fall behind GM in market share in the 1930s.  He way also violently opposed to any modifications to the car to allow it to compete with other automakers of the time.  From Wiley.com:

…Henry Ford refused even to consider replacing his beloved Model T. Once, while he was away on vacation, employees built an updated Model T and surprised him with it on his return. Ford responded by kicking in the windshield and stomping on the roof.

I love my workers, no I don’t.:

Although he is credited for treating his workers well, this was only the case in the early years of the company.  He did pay his workers well (about double they could expect for a similar job elsewhere).  He also had a force of 50 private investigators to spy on his own workers, making sure they didn’t drink, gamble, or do anything else he didn’t like (like redesigning the Model T).  Later on, his generosity waned.  I’ve seen recordings of former employees describe working on the Model T as working in hell, even decades after.  When workers tried to unionize, Ford reacted with violence, leading to the the infamous Battle of the Overpass:

Hitler?  Yeah I’m totally gay for him!:

Hitler and Henry Ford got along great.  I’ve heard stories about them pounding each other in the ass.  I don’t know who was the top most of the time though.  From Wikipedia:

Ford and Adolf Hitler admired each other’s achievements. Adolf Hitler kept a life-size portrait of Ford next to his desk. “I regard Henry Ford as my inspiration,” Hitler told a Detroit News reporter two years before becoming the Chancellor of Germany in 1933. In July 1938, four months after the German annexation of Austria, Ford was awarded the Grand Cross of the German Eagle, the highest medal awarded by Nazi Germany to foreigners.

How about I print a newspaper that contains only libelous anti-Semitic material?:

So, Ford published a paper called the Dearborn Independent, which was almost entirely devoted to printing libelous anti-semitic material about prominent Jews, as well as generally promoting the ideas contained in The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.  Eventually, Ford messed around with the wrong guy, a Mr. Araron Sapiro, esquire of California.  Now Ford was seriously afraid of making public speeches, and if you’ve ever seen a video of him speaking publicly, he looks like he’s costantly on the verge of a panic attack.  This is probably not a good problem to have if you are constantly printing libelous material about a lawyer.  Eventually he is going to take you to court and make you look like a fool.  From AJHS:

For seven years, the Independent continued to publish anti-Semitic articles until the target of one series, California farm cooperative organizer Aaron Sapiro, sued Ford for libel. Sapiro was the third Jew to sue Ford and the first to get to trial. Ford refused to testify and apparently staged an automobile accident so he could hide in a hospital.

This stupid motherfucker intentionally got into an accident and put himself in the hospital because he was so afraid of going to court and being publicly humiliated for his own stupidity.  You stupid fuck.

Anyway, as part of settling with Sapiro, he promised to never print content about Jews ever again, and ended up shutting down the paper in 1927.

So for all of these, and many other dumbshit mistakes that a chimpanzee that grew up on a diet of paint chips wouldn’t make, I send a hearty posthomous fuck you to you, Henry Ford.


Skeletons in Ari’s closet part 2 – Magic: The Gathering

Ok, so if you’re reading this, my guess is you already know what Magic: The Gathering is.

If not, its kind of Dungeons and Dragons crossed with baseball cards. On a turn, a player may say something like:

I’ll tap 2 mountains, Urza’s Mine, and Urza’s Power Plant, and Urza’s Tower to summon a Bogardan Hellkite, and do five damage to your Avatar of Woe as it comes into play. Shit you’re in trouble now!

Any instants to put on the stack in response?


Ok, then I’m going to declare my attack phase.


I will attack with my Desolation Giant.

Ok, I take 3.

Or looks something like:

In case you are wondering, there are plastic protectors on all the cards… because they are so precious.

And so on… the more you learn about it, the more embarrassing it gets. The introductory rule book is dozens of pages, and thats just enough to get you to play on a basic level. The rules are so complex that there are literally different levels of judges organized by a sanctioning body, and you have to pass tests to move from level to level. I could compare being a Magic judge to being a Mandarin in ancient China, or an actual lawyer. You can generally tell how important any tournament is by the highest level judge at the event. Ridiculous right? I mean these people are lawyers in a made up game.

Mike and I used to play this all the time in high school. I generally beat his ass, since I was a serious tournament player, usually in at least one a week. Of course, that makes it even worse.

When I went to college, I became a closet Magic player, fearing that people would understand what a loser-tool I actually am. I did things like join a non-nerd fraternity (I swear, it was the coolest on campus, aside from half the brothers being gay). Gradually, Magic became less and less a part of my life, but the fact is that it will always be something that haunts me. I always live in the fear that whenever I have friends over they may stumble over the hundreds of cards in my Magic collection.

Of course I can’t get rid of them:


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