Not Without My Daughters

from derrickcomedy

Because Knowing Is Half The Battle!!!

Do you know your G.I. Joe?

Are you a dumbass for allowing yourself to be hooked up to a Lie Detector? Please answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

My spider sense is tingling

Or maybe its my rash - whats the difference?

Whoops
I think I’ve dumped turds that did better acrobatics in the toilet bowl.

A Wiki of Dicks

its called Dickipedia. Its about dicks (not dicks).
Here’s an excerpt from the page of an exceptional Dick:
‘David Blaine (born David Blaine White on April 4, 1973 in Brooklyn, New York City, USA) is an American illusionist, stunt performer and dick. His father was Spanish–Puerto Rican and his mother was Jewish, making him one of [...]

The Adventures of Mark Twain

I just loooooove this video. I’m sooooo serious.

we be lovin’ it

Although 81% of Americans think we’re on the wrong track, this proves them all wrong

So, I was looking at public U.S. Federal actions because I am bored, and want to see how much a used cop Interceptor costs if you buy it straight from the government.  Instead I found this lovely charm:
JAIL CELL: $20
JAIL CELL (1 EACH),SIZE:6 FFET X 8 FEET, (CONDITION USED,REPAIRS MAY BE NEEDED) USED (1481058004GLCA6) [...]

Not exactly “Mother of the Year”

I’ve got a Kinder surprise for that Humpty Fuck!

…all the king’s horses and all the king’s men said a prayer and sent Humpty to Hell.

Sasquatch touched me in my special place

Does he have a gentle touch?

I’ve had a few that have claimed abuse, but never by a mythical creature
- Detective
I do find some solace in the fact that there will be many attempts on this pedo’s life in prison.
from Digg

Over 4 Zombie Games!!!

1) “De-Animator” (loosely) based on the work of HP Lovecraft:

2) “Funky Disco Zombies” yes, you read that correctly:

3) “Zombie Grinder 60000″ whod’ve thought the fat man could run that fast:

4) “Divine Intervention” Frag those Heathens!:

5) “Boxhead: The Zombie Wars” I love these square little fuckers:

Personal Favorite: “The Last Stand”

Fuck You series: Assud the Militant Rabbit

The guy in the rabbit suit threatens to eat all the Jews at the end of the clip - I thought rabbits are herbivores?

FUCK YOU!
From Haaretz

Fuck you series: Mel Gibson

“[You said] ‘Fucking Jews…  Are you a Jew… The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.’  Are those anti-semtic words?”
“No, I don’t think so. No, I don’t think so.”
FUCK YOU.