“Original” is not a flavor.

You get it from the bathroom, then you put it in your mouth.
No.

This is NOT a cry for help


My spider sense is tingling

Or maybe its my rash - whats the difference?

Whoops
I think I’ve dumped turds that did better acrobatics in the toilet bowl.

Although 81% of Americans think we’re on the wrong track, this proves them all wrong

So, I was looking at public U.S. Federal actions because I am bored, and want to see how much a used cop Interceptor costs if you buy it straight from the government.  Instead I found this lovely charm:
JAIL CELL: $20
JAIL CELL (1 EACH),SIZE:6 FFET X 8 FEET, (CONDITION USED,REPAIRS MAY BE NEEDED) USED (1481058004GLCA6) [...]

Sasquatch touched me in my special place

Does he have a gentle touch?

I’ve had a few that have claimed abuse, but never by a mythical creature
- Detective
I do find some solace in the fact that there will be many attempts on this pedo’s life in prison.
from Digg

Fuck You series: Assud the Militant Rabbit

The guy in the rabbit suit threatens to eat all the Jews at the end of the clip - I thought rabbits are herbivores?

FUCK YOU!
From Haaretz

You see somethin’ broke about this?

gotta get me a Monkey Drummer!

Listen to President Executron

The president was just talking to his “destroy all humans” base.

Break out the violin - why it sucks to be me

Wired’s Top 5 Reasons It Sucks to Be An Engineering Student.
Best line?
Brilliant engineering students may earn surprisingly low grades while slackers in other departments score straight As for writing book reports and throwing together papers about their favorite zombie films.
Maybe I’m not brilliant, but I would say in general a humanities course is about [...]

That’s two owies

What the clip doesn’t show is what happens next when the inferno gets to the large holding tanks of Mike’s farts…   The entire city is lost - they simply don’t have any footage of it because all cameras were destroyed.

Mike Y. - Porno Fiend


This doesn’t work with Mike’s

I wish I could find this with subtitles.  Damn.

Operation: Janus

Two-faced baby in Northern India
I’m not certain if this is real or not, but that hasn’t stopped the nightmares.

From LiveLeak.com

In Quecha culture, the gnome is harbinger of death

Apparently, some midget in Argentina is dressing up in a gnome cap, walking around sideways, and scaring people so bad that they end up in the hospital [with video].
Real or fake, hearing about this almost makes life worth it.

Best video game review ever

Gamespot’s video review of Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. 

It gets a 1/10.  I’ve never seen anything this bad in my entire life - I’m pretty sure I could hack up a better quality game myself in a weekend.  Seriously.
And from the written review:
Of course, the controls would only matter if you actually had to [...]