“There’s a hero inside of all of us. I’ll make them see everyone has AIDS.”
- Gary Johnston, Team America: World Police
So I’ve been watching a lot of movies about vigilantism lately (Kick-Ass, Defendor, Hot Tub Time Machine) and remembered hearing about some “real” life “super” “heroes”.
Upon further albeit minimal research I found that these “real” life “super” “heroes” were actually Real-Life “Super” Heroes (.com).
Some perform charity work, others fight crime, all look kinda stupid.
Yet I can’t help but admire, nay ridicule, NAY admiricule these well-intentioned homosexuals who sacrifice their time and energy for the sake of—wait, before I continue, can we see those again? You know what I mean. C’mon.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Hot Tub Time Machine was awesome! Rob Cordry is one funny dude. And the small part Chevy Chase had was great.
I have to say that these comedians who sacrifice their time and energy to make us laugh are the greatest heroes of all. Did you see The Hangover? That was funny too.
So if you want to go against the natural order of things and start helping those in need, here are a few sites that might make you rethink that idea:
Great! Now that you look like a douchebag its time to get in shape with The Biomatrix. Packed with videos on bodybuilding, articles on physical health, and other things that fill me with hate, The Biomatrix is your key to fitting into that dumbass suit you just bought.
Now its time to join up with a team of superheroes just like you! If you’re in the Florida area and love gray, then you should check out Team Justice Inc (obviously not heroes of web design). I’d say more about them but I didn’t spend more than 10 seconds on their site. Fight on you brave Floridians!
If you’re really serious about being a superhero you need to join up with Superheroes Anonymous. They’ll raise your “cool” factor from nil to potentially-more-than-nil, and even help upgrade that shitty costume you’re wearing.
Well it looks like you’re ready to do some good out there. Just remember that being a vigilante is technically illegal, so always wear your mask and later you can plead guilty by reason of insanity.
Here’s one last message from some RLSH’s:
When I grow up, I wanna be just like Captain Sticky.