Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.

Thanks Bart11:

“Children go to bed in Superman pajamas – Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pajamas.”

“Chuck Norris doesn’t need a watch, he just decides what time it is”

“Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris”

“Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.”

“Chuck Norris can beat rock with scissors.”

“Chuck Norris broke into a convent and had sex with all the nuns. 9 months later, they gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins.”

Animal’s a sore loser

Buddy Rich gets filed under ‘Chuck Norris‘

Just like Da Vinci